i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize