Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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