My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
