I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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