I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
