escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
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