okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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