I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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