my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
