I've blown a few things in my day
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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