I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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