I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
