i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
