apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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