You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize