so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
