The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
