i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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