Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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