who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
