All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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