He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
