if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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