I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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