Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
