she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
