butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
