who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
