Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I pour the whiskey from now on
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
