Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
