Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
