I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize