You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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