we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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