Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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