i used baking grease as lip gloss
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
