READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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