I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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