I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
