my being single is dangerous.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize