5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize