Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
