that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
