why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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