HIV tests are more positive than that guy
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
