I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
