remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize