You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
