office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
