i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
