She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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