it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
