found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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