it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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