TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
