I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
