We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize