don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
