you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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