Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize