So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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